by Bride-to-be Leah
(Westchester County, New York)
I am an older bride having found my true soul mate, but I am following similar wedding traditions by having a wedding party. Instead of a single Maid of Honor, it is a Matron of Honor (married). Her kids are older, she has always been special in my life, but she is not coming through and being there for me concerning my wedding. I feel like why am I bothering with a tradition to have a Matron of Honor if she cannot be there for me.
You may not want to hear this, but your Matron of Honor could be going through something personal and she does not want to burden you. Life continues to go on, even while you planning a wedding. Your focus is on your wedding day as it should and you should be enjoying every moment of that planning.
It is hard to think of anything or anyone else at this time, but God keeps us on our toes. It is his way of grounding us about life lessons.
Sit down with your Matron of Honor and show her that you care enough to be there for her and give her the option to step down. She might not have the courage to do so herself because she knows the importance of all this to you.
This way, you will not have the disappointments during the planning and on your wedding day. You and your husband-to-be will focus on the enjoyment part of it all. She will be there for you, but maybe just not in the capacity and role you would like her be.
Make your own traditions for that day and you just might find it less stressful and more enjoyable.