This article is created to fulfill a need, to assist, to embrace.
In The Hospital – Jewish No Bris
Nowadays, Jewish parents often make different choices than previous generations did, especially for their children. Parents with sons will now often choose no Bris and have a surgeon perform the circumcision on their newborn boys. Instead of the more traditional Berit Mila in their home on the eighth day after birth, the hospital. In these cases, it is most often done within a day or two of birth. Parents often feel more comfortable with the sterile setting for such a delicate procedure and are making this decision in the best interests of their child and realize something about themselves. Parents have to make the choices they feel are best and are most comfortable with even though it is not according to traditional Jewish custom. Doing something just because it is a custom is not what many parents are comfortable with anymore and they should not feel they have to bow to it.
NO CIRCUMCISION
It is not uncommon today for Rabbi Andrea Frank to hear that parents chose to not circumcise their newborn sons on the eighth day of their lives as per tradition. The custom today is unlike when the custom was first mentioned and commanded by G-d in the Torah. To separate from all others, the chosen people. The custom was adopted by many faiths and many cultures. More so for health reasons, no longer for the identity and promise to G-d connected to the Jewish faith, the Jewish Community. The elders of generations past followed the custom, often times, without reason or understanding. It was just done.
THE TIMES HAVE CHANGED
No Bris, today, does not change who the parents are or who the child is. The child is still welcomed into the Covenant with God’s blessing during their Naming Ceremony. This child will be raised with a Jewish education by his parents. He will be loved by all family members. There is still much reason to celebrate and commemorate this new family addition into the Covenant and the community. A Naming Ceremony is perfect to introduce the newborn son to the community. It is customary for Jewish babies born in the Diaspora (outside of Israel) to be given two names, a secular name and a Hebrew name. For some, it makes them feel more connected to their Jewish roots, and the community as a whole. It is a custom honoring the memory of beloved family members that are no longer in the physical sense, but in the spiritual sense. That special person or more than one, will always be remembered by our future generations. Our family trees. A Naming Ceremony is the perfect way to announce the Hebrew name the parents have chosen and share why and after whom. A Naming Ceremony lets them gather friends and family and announce the name of their new little boy to everyone at once, making it a wonderful celebration of the new life that added extra joy to families.
If you are a new parent who has made the decision to have your baby boy’s circumcision soon after birth before taking your little bundle home instead of the customary Bris on the eighth day and or No Bris at all, plann a an intimate, comfortable Naming Ceremony that has meaning for you. It is your baby and your choice so celebrate it with peace of mind and heart.
BEFORE BIRTH
Most parents after finding out their pregnant and as the pregnancy continues the growth of your child in the womb, many decisions are made. After making the decision to circumcision in the hospital before or on the Eighth day or No Bris circumcision at all, another important decision follows.
WHEN TO HAVE THE NAMING CEREMONY?
Following the custom on the eighth day is a nice way to honor tradition for it, the eighth day, has its own meaning according to Jewish teachings. We celebrate the welcoming of our children with prayers, blessings and cheer for the world was created in 7 days. From a technical standpoint, six days of creation, the seventh day of rest, Shabbat. So, on the eighth day, all is complete and our children receive their Hebrew Name, G-d’s Blessings and Welcomed into the Covenant of the Jewish Community. Though times have changed, so has concern for the mother of the child. She just gave birth and now she not only needs to care for her newborn child, she needs to get her strength back. Giving birth is tiring on a woman’s body, after nine months, and it needs to adjust without baby in the womb. Is it wrong to have the Naming Ceremony beyond the eighth day? It is not, if it needs to be delayed, plan around 1-3 months from giving birth.
WHAT TAKES PLACE AT A NAMING CEREMONY
A chuppah is prominent in a Naming Ceremony in much the same way it is for a wedding. While a wedding is bringing a couple into the covenant of marriage, a Naming Ceremony is the parents bringing their baby into the Covenant of Judaism. Once the parents are standing under the chuppah with their infant son, the rabbi wraps the child in a traditional tallit, tallis prayer shawl. Then a prayer that the child grows in goodness and health. The prayer will also ask that his life be rich in the blessings of Torah, good deeds (Maasim Tovim) and chuppah. In addition to the chuppah, a small amount of wine in the Kiddush cup from the parents’ wedding will be needed. The first taste from the fruit of the vine is placed on the baby lips by either the mother or father. To sanctify, made holy, this very special moment with parents, family and friends gathering together. Nearly every event and holy day in Judaism involves the use of wine for a blessing.
THE CELEBRATION MEAL
The custom to break bread together is the visual symbolism of the Challah bread. The blessing is the Motzi, for which a wonderful loaf of challah bread will be needed. G-d provides food from the earth. This beautiful ceremony often takes place in the parents’ home or the grandparent’s homes. Not necessarily a rented space for larger parties. An intimate setting is all that is needed. Typically, dairy, and not diary platters are served over a heavy meal. Bagels, lox, spreads, tuna and egg salad. Toppings as lettuce, tomato, onion slices etc.
THE NEXT STEP
When you have decided to have the No Bris, Circumcision or Not Naming Ceremony, Rabbi Andrea Frank will be happy to help you get everything arranged so you have everything ready for the special day. She has created a special, intimate, family and friends memorable Naming Ceremony. She will go over the order of the ceremony, the details, so you know what will be done and when. She will make sure the chuppah will be there and will officiate the ceremony. Parents receive a Naming Certificate with the Hebrew Name and details from the Naming. This same Certificate becomes an important document in the later years for various life cycle ceremonies and in-between. A special day everyone in attendance will remember fondly as the child grows up.