I was hoping you could help me with a difficult situation. We are getting married in 6 weeks in a typical Jewish ceremony, and out of courtesy, have invited the rabbi to attend the reception.
We intend on having mixed dancing at the reception from the start, with a female lead singer of the band, however the Rabbi has stated that he will not come if this is the case, as halacha prevents him from doing this, and expects me to change the plans. I don’t want to insult him, but don’t want to sacrifice my idea of a good wedding either.
Rabbi Andrea replies…
Candice, you followed proper etiquette by extending an invitation to join in the celebration of your marriage. It is customary to invite your wedding officiant as it is the right thing to do. However, accept his regrets for he observes Jewish law where men and women, bride and groom do not celebrate together, without the separation. He is not implying you change anything for your day, he simply is stating in a polite way, he cannot attend due to his beliefs.
Enjoy your Jewish wedding ceremony under the Chuppah and the celebration of your marriage on your wedding day.
Say Thank you Rabbi and I am sorry you cannot attend, with respect to your beliefs.