Military Marriage vs. Non-Military Marriage

There is a special connection between military wives, and husbands. Military marriage is not some silly selected segregation. Nobody but a military wife can know the torment that they live through every day. When they are away it hurts, and even when they are home it hurts.

If he is serving overseas or simply serving his time in his own country, your military man, or wife, is serving something apart from his own family.

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The ways in which each military marriage survives are all personal and unique to their own, but the emotional journey is one that can really be understood only by another military wife. The one thing all military spouses have in common with each other is their ultimate pride in their husbands and wives, and to survive the journey as a military spouse, their shared pride of place alongside their incredible military husbands and wives.

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I am sorry, I don’t know who said “The military wife fights the first battle when she kisses her husband good-bye”, but to them I say, “How true”. While this might have been said about the military wife saying goodbye before a husband’s overseas service, it also speaks true of the man and woman who serves their country from home soil.

It takes a very special person to stand and accept that the rest of their lives are devoted to something larger than themselves and their own little worlds. It takes an incredible commitment and an enduring love to withstand a life supporting someone else who may not be there by their beside on days when you are feeling blue, and who may not hold you in those times when the life around you is not so sweet.

Now, marriage is hard enough, there are times when all husbands and wives question the sanity of a relationship that requires such hard work. Couples get through this by being together and keeping at it as a team. Sadly, many military relationships do not have this luxury of being together to keep things on track. This is when the military husband or wife just has to sort through “couple issues” alone. Only the strongest committed individual can carry the weight of two in a relationship, and it takes a strong intimate trusting bond to make it at all possible.

Military husbands and wives of those who serve in active duty also live with the torture of not knowing when the one they love is safe. When a military husband or wife is deployed the many who are left behind often encounter feelings of depression and abandonment, these feelings are rarely spoken of. Again, this is where the military wife chooses not to make her own wants the number one priority, her family is her first.

While it may seem that the bonds of marriage are endangered in a military relationship and emotional intimacy with a partner is strained to say the least, it is also true that some relationships grow even stronger. It is not for the fact that distance makes the heart grow fonder, there absolutely has to be the love there in the first place. It is only that the distance and time apart that serves as a reminder not to take love for granted. The serving military husband and wife will depend on their spouse on their return to be the rock they need to lean on, and the ears to hear things when they need to remember out loud, and the heart they can rely on when their own is breaking.


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The military wife keeps her husband grounded and strong by sending her love while he is gone and always finding that a little bit more when he’s home. If having to deal with all the life issues alone is not enough for one person to carry, their jobs are not done when they return. Only a special kind of person and a special kind of real love can be strong enough to survive. The military marriage survives because their love and commitment is not taken for granted.

While military marriages are an entity of their own, the non-military couples could learn many things from them. The special goodbyes for instance are important. A military husband or wife knows the value of not leaving issues unresolved, and has learned the art of letting the silly things go. They do not have until the afternoon, or the next day or the day after that to get over it, they are too aware that tomorrow is unpredictable. A military marriage does not have the time to wallow in unimportant debate. The most important thing to them is to be sure to let the one they love know that they are appreciated. Petty unimportant arguments have a way of clouding the unconditional love that holds a marriage together.

To all the military husbands and wives out there, I say thank you for being the one besides the one watching over us. While we take our partners for granted you cherish the blessings of your marriage and keep love your priority, while the rest of us simply don’t take the time to appreciate the ones we have in front of us.

A Blessing For Our Military
Servants of our nation, go forth on our behalf
Do your duty with honor
Defend us against the darkness
Know that no task is too trivial or small in this cause
Go forth with blessings in abundance from almighty God
And may God’s peace be with you always

Priestly Blessing for the Military Marriage
May God bless you and keep you;
May God shine God’s countenance upon you and be gracious unto you;
May God lift up God’s countenance to you and grant you peace
and Let us say… Amen

In Memory Of My Parents:
My father a World War II Hero fought for our Freedom only to live his life with injury and
My mother for her love, commitment and strength That he was well taken care of.
He Survived Her!

They are forever in my heart and
Their memories live on through me.

 

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This Military Marriage article is an extension of the Marriage Guidance article

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