Interfaith Couples, Interfaith Jewish Wedding
Interfaith couples, couples even of the same faith, they are all mixed marriages.
Having grown up in different circumstances challenges them to find common ground and agreements with which both partners can live together as one couple in one household.
Regardless, marriage takes work and with practice, a couple will be in sync with each other. When that happens, all is good. The concept and institution of marriage assumes a much greater and more profound significance.
Clergy refusing to be at a wedding of a couple willing to commit to a Jewish future and home will not keep them from getting married but it may push them away from Jewish life because of this rejection. That would serve none of us well. It is a fact, we welcome our married interfaith couples into our congregations with open arms, but our Rabbis (not all), will not marry them.
Our future is better served by opening our arms rather than slamming our doors. When two people have fallen in love, the rabbis needs to do everything possible to help them be part of the Jewish community.
A nurturing love relationship is a gift of God, deserving of acknowledgment and blessing.
Will you Co-Officiate with a Minister, Priest?
When you have decided as a couple to accept one faith, the Jewish faith, it would be a contradiction for me as a Rabbi.
Will you officiate our wedding on a Saturday?
An interfaith couple making a commitment to Judaism should understand the importance of Shabbat or at least the Jewish partner. That Jewish tradition does not allow weddings on Shabbat. It is a holy day and the joy and celebration of a marriage of the same or different faiths is prohibited on the Sabbath.
However, today, there are Rabbis for interfaith couples that will officiate one hour before Shabbat ends as their ‘comfort zone’ and to accommodate Saturday evening ceremonies. When contacting a Rabbi, do ask this question, but also be respectful to their observance of Shabbat.
Did you know the traditional Saturday evening Jewish wedding ceremony occurred after the cocktail hour?
It respectfully honored Shabbat and catered guests with a ‘pre-dinner nosh’. If only caterers and couples today would bring back the ole’ time traditions for the Jewish wedding ceremony time-frame dilemma on a Saturday evening. Just think how all would go so smoothly for interfaith couples and their Saturday evening wedding desire.
Will you blend non-Jewish customs in our ceremony?
The Jewish Wedding Rabbi receives this question often and the answer is yes, within reason.
Blending a Unity Candle or Unity Sand, Readings and exchange of Embellished Wedding Rings placed on the left hand’s ring fingers are customs that can flow nicely in a Jewish wedding ceremony with respect to both families. The following are optional, not required and will not alter the Jewish wedding ceremony order and text.
Are you sure, my future wife/husband is not Jewish
When the non-Jewish partner who, for any of a number of very good reasons, do not see themselves converting to Judaism, at least in the foreseeable future, can be very comfortable about supporting the Jewish partner’s religious identity, living in a home that identifies with a welcoming Jewish community and bringing up Jewish children.
When it is set that making a commitment to a Jewish future, we are honored by your fiancee / fiance Mitzvot. The goodness in their heart to their partner in marriage, and also to the Jewish community they chose to take part in.
Such a couple, in my opinion, should not be rejected, but the Jewish Wedding Rabbi states, “welcomed and blessed.”
This interfaith wedding rabbi will be honored to be with the couple under the Chuppah for their interfaith wedding as their sole Wedding Officiant. I will support, guide and be available for any questions that arise.
Based on the following guidelines I have set, I believe my officiating at interfaith Jewish weddings serves Jewish life and our future for interfaith couples.
If you and your fiancée / fiancé are:
- committed to having a Jewish home
- the non-Jewish partner is not affirming their faith; meaning, exclusive of any other religion
- agree to raising children as Jews, with a Jewish education. To be parents providing their child and or children with an identity, without them having to choose sides.
- are fully comfortable with the words of the Jewish wedding ceremony, that your marriage is “according to the laws of Moses and Israel”
The Jewish Wedding Rabbi will be your wedding Officiant for your interfaith Jewish wedding ceremony:
- Sunday, Monday to Thursday
- Before Shabbat begins on Fridays and 1-hour before or either after Shabbat ends for Saturday evening weddings
- I work closely with all my couples so that the ceremony reflects their personalities, beliefs, dreams, wishes and both families
- I will support, guide and be available for any questions that arises
- Under the Chuppah is a couple’s sacred space and receiving the traditional blessings for your marriage is my gift as a Rabbi
Your Jewish wedding ceremony can be any size, months in advance or after the 24-hour state law requirement of your marriage license. It can be a formal or informal setting, small or large wedding ceremonies; outdoors, indoors, the beach wedding. I will be happy to travel to perform your wedding anywhere in the United States; Chicago, Texas, California, North Carolina, Florida to name a few states and everywhere else in between. You can have your destination Jewish wedding in the Caribbean, Mexico on cruise ships when in port.
The Jewish Wedding Rabbi resides in Westchester County, New York and cover the Metropolitan area; New York (including New York City-Manhattan), Queens, Brooklyn and the surrounding locations in Westchester County, Connecticut, Long Island and New Jersey.